Most people roll their eyes and huff when anyone mentions a teenager. Why? Because most teenagers are notorious for being snotty, obnoxious, and rude. However, not everything is the way you see it on television. Hence, most teens simply need guidance, boundaries, and a better method for organizing chores and actions at home. Sure, you may get some pushback from a stubborn teen, but persevere.
Set Chore Expectations from a Young Age so the Process is Ingrained
Children should be given expectations about responsibilities from the time they are able to help around the house. It might begin with your three-year-old picking up their toys or helping put away dishes. But kids should be well-prepared to take on more responsibilities by the time they hit their teen years.
That’s not to say you should break out the snow plow and expect your teen to know how to use it. Appropriate chores for a 13-year-old might include vacuuming the living room, dusting the wood furniture, and raking the lawn.
Be Compassionate and Empathic—But Don’t Confuse Love and Care with Being a Doormat
Teens are stubborn and rebellious by nature—thanks hormones, but they have an innate sense of goodness and what’s right. They also always need the people that love them most. Ergo, always be available for support, but don’t let them walk all over you. Set boundaries with an open-door policy but teach them that actions come with consequences.
For instance, let them know you understand that their hormones are raging, and this might make them extra moody, but that bad behavior, lashing out, or name-calling will not be tolerated in your household. Compassionate but fair.
Allow Your Teen to Make Mistakes through Natural Action and Consequences. They Need to Fail Sometimes.
Your child needs to learn how to fail gracefully before they can succeed and shine. Kids are meant to learn that actions lead to consequences, and sometimes those consequences are unpleasant because the actions weren’t all that great either. Instead of being there to forever bail your kids out of their messes, let them fail a time or two. It will teach them that they need to be self-reliant and more responsible in the long run.